The Final Word: Kevin Hassett Is The Most Fuckwitted of all the Chucklefucks Populating Trump 1.0 or 2.0
- john raymond
- 7 minutes ago
- 7 min read
Kevin Hassett is not just wrong all the time. He is wrong in a specific and dangerous ways: he wraps third-rate math and fourth-rate judgment in the costume of a serious economist, then sells it as if it were objective truth.
“Fuckwit” may be an emotional label, but the analytic label is worse: a Dunning–Kruger apparatchik whose incompetence reliably serves regime security over reality. In short, Kevin Hassett is the textbook definition of a grinning chucklefuck.
The point of this article is simple: to show that my insults are not a lapse in decorum but a compressed conclusion from the record. Hassett’s behavior on tax policy, on COVID, and now on monetary policy forms a coherent pattern of weaponized stupidity.
Hassett doesn’t just make mistakes; he manufactures bad analysis that conveniently justifies what President Trump already wants to do.
Credentials are not the problem; they are the camouflage
On paper, Hassett looks like a normal Republican technocrat. He chaired the Council of Economic Advisers for President Trump from 2017 to 2019. He then came back in 2020 as a senior adviser during the pandemic response, and since January 20, 2025 he has been director of the National Economic Council in Trump 2.0.
He has cycled through all the usual conservative institutions: American Enterprise Institute fellow, adviser to Bush, McCain, Romney.
In late 2024, President-elect Trump announced Hassett would head the NEC in the second administration, explicitly tying him to an agenda of tax cuts, higher tariffs, and expanded fossil-fuel production.
Now, as of December 2025, markets and media treat him as the odds-on favorite to become the next Fed chair when Powell’s term expires. Polymarket has priced his odds upward; business press headlines openly discuss “Trump’s expected pick to lead the Fed” and what that would mean for central-bank independence.
None of this is reassuring. It just establishes why he matters. We are not talking about a crank on YouTube. We are talking about the man who helped sell the Trump tax cut, mis-modeled a pandemic using Excel, now effectively runs White House economic policy, and is positioning himself to run the Federal Reserve.
The very idea of the last makes me want to fucking puke.
The cubic-model disgrace: when a pandemic became an Excel toy
The clearest, least forgivable episode is the COVID “cubic model.”
In the spring of 2020, as U.S. deaths were still mounting, Hassett prepared a projection of daily deaths that used a canned cubic polynomial curve-fit in Excel, extended forward until it hit zero. The result: a graph depicting U.S. COVID deaths plunging to essentially zero by mid-May 2020, which the White House then used internally and in briefings as part of the case for reopening.
This was savaged by serious modelers for obvious reasons. A cubic polynomial is not an epidemiological model; it is a smooth curve whose tail behavior is mathematically arbitrary.
In fact, extended far enough, Hassett’s curve would have implied negative deaths—literally impossible—which is why actual statisticians and people with actual training described it as something that would fail a basic high-school exam. Academic commentary and civil-society reviews were blunt: the “model” was a preset Excel function, not a science-based analysis of infection dynamics.
Hassett’s defense was that critics were being “silly,” and that the exercise was just another way of “visualizing” the situation.
But this is the point...
In the middle of a lethal pandemic, the chief economic adviser to the President of the United States reached for the laziest fucking took, the most toy-assed curve-fit one could ever possibly find anywhere, then used it to produce a falsely reassuring picture, and then allowed that picture to shape the reopening narrative.
That is not a good-faith mistake. It is a stark revelation of method: result first, justification later; aesthetics over substance; political need over scientific discipline, even when actual lives are at stake.
In Raymond-Method terms, this is Pillar Two—Asymmetric Warfare—applied to data. The intent is not to understand reality but to weaponize numbers as narrative. The cubic curve exists to say “it’s going away,” thereby serving Pillar One: regime security for President Trump, who needed the pandemic to vanish on paper long before it vanished in the real world.
A tax-cut salesman who can’t do grown-up math
Hassett’s record on tax policy has the same structure: extravagant promises, modeling befitting a fucking ass clown, and contempt for external critique.
As CEA chair, he argued that the 2017 Trump corporate tax cut would boost average annual wages by roughly $4,000, with the possibility of gains more than twice that size—implying that workers would capture something like 300 percent of the value of the corporate tax cut.
Even now disgraced Larry Summers, hardly a leftist bomb-thrower, called this analysis “some combination of dishonest, incompetent and absurd” and noted that he had never seen such claims in any serious literature.
Independent teams dismantled the rest of Hassett’s sales pitch. The Penn-Wharton Budget Model published a detailed response to the White House’s attacks on its more modest growth estimates, pointing out how Hassett misrepresented their assumptions and cherry-picked numbers to inflate the case for the tax cut.
Empirically, several years into the law, evidence showed that the corporate tax cut did not generate the promised broad-based wage surge, and that much of the benefit went into buybacks and shareholder payouts instead. Of course it did, because Hassett has always been a fucking idiot overly than willing to carry water for the rich.
Again, the pattern: Hassett built a glossy story where the Trump tax cut pays for itself and showers workers with gains that dwarf the size of the corporate windfall.
His modeling choices and rhetorical framing all tilt to support pre-chosen conclusions. And when confronted with sober counter-analysis, he always doubles down instead of course-correcting.
This is classic Dunning–Kruger: a man whose self-confidence in his own cleverness vastly exceeds his grasp of the limits of the tools he is using and the evidence in front of him. But in the context of Trumpism, it is worse, because those inflated promises are not just wrong, they are part of a propaganda system that licenses debt, inequality, and looting under the banner of “growth.”
The looming Fed disaster: when markets start saying “absolutely not”
Fast-forward to 2025 and the stakes escalate again. With Powell’s term nearing its end, Trump has publicly referred to Hassett as a “potential Fed chair,” and betting markets now price him as the heavy favorite. Business and financial press coverage is clear about what this would mean: a chair aligned with Trump’s demand for aggressive rate cuts, even in a context where inflation has not decisively returned to target.
The most damning signal is not from progressive watchdogs but from bond desks. Reuters reports that major bond investors, Wall Street bankers, and asset managers have gone directly to Treasury to warn about Hassett as Fed chair, specifically because they fear he would push for rate cuts that suit Trump politically, regardless of inflation data, thereby undermining the Fed’s independence and credibility.
The Financial Times has echoed these concerns, framing the broader problem as a crisis in central-bank theory and practice, with Hassett standing out as a candidate without a coherent framework for inflation control.
This is not the left calling him a grinning fucking hack, which he is. This is the money saying: this guy is a risk to the institutional backbone of the dollar system. When fixed-income professionals, whose livelihoods depend on reading policy correctly, are quietly trying to block a candidate, it is because they believe his combination of incompetence and loyalty poses a non-trivial threat to financial stability.
In Pillar-One terms, this is perfectly legible. President Trump wants a chair who will subordinate monetary policy to his electoral calendar and his narrative of permanent “winning.” Hassett’s track record shows he is exactly the type of moron to do that: produce rationalizations first, worry about consequences later.
In Pillar-Two terms, capturing the Fed is asymmetric warfare against the entire Western economic architecture. It is the use of one man’s pliable incompetence as a lever to destabilize the system from within.
Why “fuckwit” is the accurate compression
Given this record, calling Hassett a “fuckwit” is not just venting; it is a compressed judgment on three interlocking failures.
First, intellectual failure. From the cubic COVID model to wage-impact fantasies for the tax cut, he consistently misuses tools he plainly does not understand at the scale of policy. He takes instruments barely appropriate for classroom illustration or stylized thought experiments and treats them as if they can bear the weight of national decision-making.
Second, moral failure. When your curve-fitting games are deployed in the middle of a lethal pandemic, or when your exaggerated wage projections are used to sell a regressive tax package, you are no longer just mistaken; you are responsible for the human consequences of that misinformation.
But ever the grinning fuckwit that he is, Hassett has shown no sign of reckoning with that responsibility.
Third, systemic failure. In a normal administration, someone like Hassett would be a mildly embarrassing partisan economist. Under President Trump, his combination of overconfidence and deference becomes a structural threat: he is the kind of man you can put in charge of CEA, then NEC, and potentially the Fed, precisely because he will dress the leader’s will in pseudo-technical garb while spewing pseudo-intellectual horseshit.
That is the Byzantine Traitor-General dynamic at the institutional level: the empire is rotting from the inside, and the court technocrat is grinning as he saws through the beams.
So yes, the final word on Kevin Hassett is that he is an unrepentant fuckwit. Not because he lacks a PhD, or because he sits on the wrong side of some academic argument, but because he has repeatedly chosen to be stupid in the specific direction that keeps President Trump’s regime secure at the expense of truth, institutions, and lives.
In that sense, the insult is almost too mild. It suggests a clown who does no real damage. Hassett is something more corrosive: a clown whom the regime has elevated to ringmaster of the economic circus, and is now preparing to hand the keys of the central bank.
That is the reality behind the profanity—and that is also why the profanity stands on its own.
It is because Kevin Hassett is a grinning fuckwit to end all fuckwits.